Ever heard about that movie called Constipation? It never came out.
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What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
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Want to hear a dirty joke? horse fell in the mud!
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Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed? He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep.
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Apparently vegetables can hear when they're being eaten. So I always drown mine in salad dressing first. Because it's the Romaine thing to do.
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What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.
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16 sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman.
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I feed my cat lemons. He's a real sour puss.
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What do you call a number that cant keep still? A roamin numeral.
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How does a cactus do his math homework? He uses a cacti-lator!
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Why don't blind people like skydiving? It scares the crap out of the dog.
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What name is given to the most chickens ? pEGGy
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Whatever you do, always give 100%... Unless of course, you're donating blood.
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Why did the lettuce get arrested? ...for disturbing the peas!
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Why do gorillas have such big nostrils? Cos they got big fingers.
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A man walked into a doctor's office. He said to the doctor: "I've hurt my arm in several places." The doctor said: "Well don't go there any more."
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Did you hear about what happened with the elk? It was really amoosing.
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What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless!
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