Why was the belt sent to jail? For holding up the pants.
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Overheated some milk in a lab experiment today... ...and asked the teacher if it would affect the result. Her response? "To a degree."
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Why did the dog sleep on the chandelier? Because he was a light sleeper.
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Why do good farmers only excel when they are actually farming? Because they are out standing in their field.
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Why did the packaged green onion get into trouble? Because it was a wrapped scallion.
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Never try to kill a termite with a napkin. It'll only get bigger.
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I like my jokes they way I like my robots. Killer.
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What did the neutrino say to the planet? Just passing through
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Have you heard the one about the agnostic with dyslexia and insomnia? He tossed and turned all night wondering if there was a dog
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What did the bunny say to the frog? My name is Rabbit, not ribbit!!
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What do you call a lion in the circus. A Carny-vore
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What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Anyone can roast beef...
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Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
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What did the tailpipe say to the muffler? I'm exhausted. What did the muffler say back? ^mmmmbfmbm
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What do you call a camel with 3 humps? Humphrey.
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What kind of bee will not take credit for his contributions? A Humblebee.
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What do gamers plant in their garden? Skill trees!
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What do you call a happy penguin? A pengrin!
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What do you call a man with his big toe above his shin? Tony
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