A skeleton walks into a bar... Asks for a beer and a mop.
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What did the french butter say when it got stocked in the cooler? Beurre... I came up with this today while grocery shopping. I'm ridiculously pleased with myself.
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Where do weirdos ride their bicycles? Psycho-paths.
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What do you say when you find two banana peels together? Answer: A pair of slipper
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What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky
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Why couldn't the pony sing? He was a little horse.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide
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I took the shell off a snail yesterday... you'd think it would move faster, but it was really kinda sluggish.
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What do you call a happy penguin? A pengrin!
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I don't have the faintest idea why I passed out Just a short pun
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What side of a leopard has the most spots? The outside
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Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.
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What did the three holes in the ground say? Well, well, well.
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What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowtain.
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What is irony? Irony is when something has the chemical symbol Fe.
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I don't have the faintest idea why I passed out Just a short pun
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I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account... ...so I just go around announcing out loud what I'm doing at random times. I've got 3 followers so far, but I think 2 are cops.
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