What should you do before criticizing Pac-Man? WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes

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My relationship is like Monopoly. She gives me too many Chances.

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What do you call a pile of dogs? A ruff terrain.

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How much does a truck full of bones weigh? A skeleTon

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A farmer who rolled over a cart of horse manure... is reported to be in "stable condition."

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Charles Dickens walks into a bar... and orders a martini. The bartender asks "olive 'er twist?"

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What do you call someone that steals shoes? A sneaker.

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What did Vincent van Gogh call himself when he joined the Justice League? The Starry Knight

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My uncle wanted to give all his sheep a sex change... But it entailed too many ramifications!

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What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire? That he needed to address the situation

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Why do bears hate shoes so much? They like to run around in their bear feet.

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Why couldn't Bach pay for his dinner? Because he was Baroque.

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I took the shell off a snail yesterday... you'd think it would move faster, but it was really kinda sluggish.

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What did they call the Pillsbury Doughboy after he hurt his leg? Limp Biscuit

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What did the fish say when it ran into the wall? Dam

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What do you call... What do you call an Italian romance novel model who's let himself go? Flabio.

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What happens when you get some vinegar in your ear? You suffer from pickled hearing!

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Cogito Ergo Spud. I think, therefore I yam.

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I went in to a pet shop and said, Can I buy a goldfish? The guy said, Do you want an aquarium? I said, I don't care what star sign it is.

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Do you know why one side of the the V formation of geese in flight is longer than the other side? Because It has more geese in it!

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