What cars do wolves drive? Auuuuuuuuuuudis!
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Why did the spider land on the keyboard? She wanted a new website.
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I was watching a really poorly done scary movie last night, it was horrorble.
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What is Mozart doing right now? *Decomposing*
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What's a blind person's favorite fast food joint? Taco Braille
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A penguin walks into a bar... He goes up to the barman and says, "Have you seen my father in here today?" The barman says, "I don't know, what does he look like?"
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What do you say to your sister when she's crying? Are you having a crisis?
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Why don't blind people like to skydive? Because it scares the dog.
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Why are the nordic countries the best countries to live in? Their flags are big plusses.
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There was a depressed sausage... he thought his life was THE WURST.
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Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? It lifts their spirits.
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Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.
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Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? It was a grave mistake. Woohoo! I'm making these up!!
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Why did the raisin take the prune to the new year's ball? Because he couldn't find a date!
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Why is there very little honey in Belgium? Because there is only one B in Belgium
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How much does wonton soup weigh? One ton, but I don't know anyone that'd wantonly order it.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth? *A gummy bear.*
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What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
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I fell in the mud. And took a shower right after!
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What has six eyes but cannot see? Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath
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