Why did the rope get put in timeout? Because he was very knotty.
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How many minimalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1
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What did the pebble say to the rock? I wish I was a little boulder!
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Max wondered why the ball was slowly growing larger... and then it hit him.
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Why did the jellyroll? He saw the apple turnover.
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What's the difference between unlawful and illegal? Unlawful is against the law and illegal is a sick bird.
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My buddy said he'd give his right arm to be ambidextrous.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? *She ran away from the ball.*
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What is Paula Deen's favorite insect? The Butterfly
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What other body parts did Voldemort not have apart from his nose? His legs and arms.. because he was disarmed and defeated.
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How many nihilists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? #
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How do sailors finish a corny joke on a boat? Ba dum ship.
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I don't have the faintest idea why I passed out Just a short pun
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A dog with only 3 legs walks into a saloon in the Old West He slides up to the bar and announces: "'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
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You've got to really be careful when ingesting shoes... cause they're usually laced
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I just invented a new word! It's called "plagiarism".
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What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef.
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*THUD* "What was that?" "My pants fell down." "...Why so loud?" "I'm wearing them."
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WHAT is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? WAH TAHH!!!!
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What did Cholera say to Malaria? Are you gonna Jaundice on Saturday?
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