Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" Says the first. "Moo!" says the second
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There's a guy at the office today wearing full camo. At least I think so... I haven't seen him in a while.
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What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business.
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No matter how much you push the envelope... it's still stationery.
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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
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Why did Beethoven kill off his chickens? They kept saying, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
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How does Han Solo like to get around Endor? Ewoks
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why was Pavlov's hair so soft? classical conditioning.
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What do you call a happy penguin? A pengrin!
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What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Anyone can roast beef...
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Is your refrigerator running? Well, you better get glasses, and stop doing drugs
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Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?? It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.
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What do you call soup that you've found a hair in? Rabbit Soup
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Why was the chicken kicked out of class? For using *fowl* language.
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
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What did Captain Ahab say when he harpooned a whale's tail fin on the first try? "Well that was a fluke."
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I have to find a new personal trainer. He didn't do squat(s).
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When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? When there's a sail on it.
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Apparently vegetables can hear when they're being eaten. So I always drown mine in salad dressing first. Because it's the Romaine thing to do.
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