Why don't Bond villains feel cold in the winter? Because they dress in lairs.
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Why don't cannibals like clowns? they taste funny!
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How many dancers does it take to change a lightbulb? 5,6,7,8
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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba-dum tss
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Have you seen the movie - Constipated? No? Why? Cause it hasn't come out yet!
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Why was the lobster upset? Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!
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A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he needs help with his bags. The photon says, "no, I'm travelling light. "
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How do sailors finish a corny joke on a boat? Ba dum ship.
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I had a conversation with a Mobius strip... It was one-sided.
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There once was a jealous zombie... But he ate his heart out.
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What kind of jackets do Audiophiles wear? FLAC jackets
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I am not pro gay. I am not even amateur gay. But, I support their rights.
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I hear that in Star Wars VIII they're going to introduce Han's perpetually depressed younger brother. His name is Y Solo.
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How did the firefly feel when he flew into the fan? He was de-lighted
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What did the Hungarian say to the annoying kid? "You're nothing budapest!"
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In what town lives the mathematician who can only multiply by two? Dublin.
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Want to hear a dirty joke? horse fell in the mud!
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X-post from r/jokes: "Hey! The dog you sold me yesterday just fell over and died today!" "Huh, strange. He's never done that before."
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We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here, says the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.
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I forgot where I threw my boomerang. Oh wait.. It's coming back to me now.
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