Why do Hutus hate Dustin Hoffman? He impersonated a Tootsie.
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Knock knock. Who's there? Doorbell technician.
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Why did the bullet stay home? Because it got fired!
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What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large
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What do you call someone who majors in geology and astronomy A rockstar
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I would never exaggerate... ...in a million years.
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Ask your doctor if left is right for you.
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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in the mud.
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Why do space rocks taste better than earth rocks? Because they are a little meteor
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I took the shell off a snail yesterday... you'd think it would move faster, but it was really kinda sluggish.
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Which fairground ride is made of iron? The ferrous wheel
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2 fish in a tank, one says to the other Do you know how to drive this thing?
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What do you get when you mix two chains and a cow? Truuuuuuuuuuu-moooooooooooooooooo!!!
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More retailers should adopt the "Leave A Penny / Take A Penny" system. It is literally, common cents.
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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase. I don't think hes alright now.
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Why didn't the baby oyster share her little pearl? She was a little shellfish.
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What state do most people live in? Denial. Myself included.
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I finally finished baby proofing the house. Let's see those babies get in here now.
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