I bought a duckdoo yesterday! 'What's a duckdoo?' "quack, quack"
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I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode... I asked, Are you two an item?
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A skelleton goes to the bar and says "Can I have a pint and a mop..."
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Why did the elephant turn around in the airport and go home? He forgot to pack his trunk.
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What happened to the runny nose... it tripped and fell. Now it's all boogered up.
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They told me I had type "A" blood... turns out it was a typo.
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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?
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What did the Estonian student say in language class? I'll never Finnish. *dodges tomato*
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When does one play a corny game? You play it by ear.
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Two wrongs don't make a right... but three lefts make a right. And two Wrights make a plane 6 lefts make a plane.
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Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees. You ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? *Then it's working*.
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What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite animal? Well, it was cats, originally, but then he was turned to the dog side.
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Why did the cashier go to the doctor? She had a case of the twenties.
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When I grow old, I am sure I will look back at my life and say "aaaah! my neck hurts"
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What did the figurine say when the boot flew past her protective dome? "That was a cloche call!"
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Just wrote a book on reverse psychology... Don't read it!
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What is green, has four legs and if it fell out of a tree and landed on you it would kill you? A pool table!
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We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here, says the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.
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What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? "Quack, quack, quack."
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