Why are bears so hairy ? They don't have salons in the jungle !
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I made a model aircraft. I wanted it to be an unpainted smooth finish wooden aircraft. So I made a plain planed plane plane.
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Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four it would be a chicken sedan!
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What name is given to the most chickens ? pEGGy
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What do you call a chicken crossed with a cow? Cock-a-doodle-moo!
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The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza store... and says, "Can you make me one with everything?"
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There are two types of people in this world 1. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
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What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam
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I've won the war! My pants fit! **Congratulations, have you lost weight?** _Even better... I've bought new pants!!!_
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How to create a clean joke Step 1. Find a dirty joke Step 2. Clean it
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What do you call it when someone resuscitates a person who chokes on alcohol? La chaim-lich maneuver.
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Apple just released a brand new programming language called Swift. Job recruiters everywhere immediately started posting ads for Swift programmers with 5 years of experience.
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They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, no ones laughing now.
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I wanted to put a pizza joke here ...but it was too saucy.
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? "Breathe you idiot! Breathe!"
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I used to work at an orange juice factory... I ended up getting fired because I couldn't concentrate.
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What do you call a group of 8 rabbits? A Rabbyte!
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When is a door not a door? When it's a jar
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Knock knock. Who's there? Well, not your parents, because your parents never knock!
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Why didn't the fisherman go to Florida to fish for long jawed fish with rows of razor like teeth? He didn't have a Gar
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