What do call a horse that lives near you? A naybor.
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What's the difference between a piano, a tuna and a jar of glue? You: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Person getting told joke: What about the glue? You: I knew you'd get stuck there!
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Noah wasn't much for civilized society . . . You could say he was an-arc-ist.
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There's a wreath hanging on my door with hundred dollar bills attached. I call it an Aretha Franklin.
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Why did the chef invest in chicken and cow bones? He wanted to buy stock options.
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You'd think that people who kept their head warm would tend to be healthier... but as it turns out, people who wear turbans are actually more likely to be Sikh
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Why are snakes so difficult to pick up in Japan? Because in Japan, snakes are hebi.
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I hear that in Star Wars VIII they're going to introduce Han's perpetually depressed younger brother. His name is Y Solo.
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What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
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My buddy said he'd give his right arm to be ambidextrous.
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How many Romans does it take to screw in a light bulb? V.
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What's the difference between a fish and a guitar? You can't tuna fish!
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Knock knock! **Who's there?** *Tank* **Tank who?** *You're welcome*
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Why did the camera go to the doctor? It had a low light problem.
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What does the horse call the pigs on his farm? Neigh-boars.
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What is the horror movie Quija rated? Quija-13
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What are caterpillars afraid of? DOGerpillars!
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What kind of jackets do Audiophiles wear? FLAC jackets
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What do you find in a cloud's shorts? Thunderpants!
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How much did the pirate charge for corn? He sold them for a buccaneer.
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