Did you know yesterday was National Middle Child Day? Don't worry, no one else remembered either.
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Why is a shooting star better than a hamburger? It's meteor.
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Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" Says the first. "Moo!" says the second
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What do you call two guys above a window? Curt 'n Rod
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What killed the guy ordering at an Italian restaurant? He'd had trouble deciding to go with the appetizers or entrees, but eventually he went antipasto way.
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Why did the scarecrow go to the doctor? He had straw-itch.
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Why did the elephant turn around in the airport and go home? He forgot to pack his trunk.
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All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh... But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.
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What did one earthquake say to the other? Hey, it's not my fault.
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Why did the banker leave his job? He lost interest.
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What did the plate say to the other plate? Dinners on me.
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Someone sly sheared sleeping sheep. Talk about shear terror.
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Did you hear that H.P. Lovecraft wrote a cookbook? It's called the Necronomnomnomicon.
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What did one snowman say to the other snowman? 'Do you smell carrots?'
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What's a balloon's favorite genre of music? Pop.
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I'm getting mighty fed up with these sheep-human hybrids! What is with ewe people!?
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What's the smartest dinosaur? Thesaurus Rex!
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As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought, Dogs sure are easily amused!... ...then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail.
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