Why did the golfer need to buy a new pair of socks? Because he got a hole in one!

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What's green and fuzzy and can kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table.

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Why was the panda crying? He had a bambooboo.

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If you have bladder problems. Urine trouble.

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How do cows get their gossip? They herd it through the bovine.

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What do you call a barbarian you can't see? an Invisigoth.

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How do you make a squid laugh? Ten tickles.

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Why did the shark go to the doctor? He had a bite on his fin.

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What kind of pants does Super Mario wear? [Denim, denim, denim.]

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Why did the vegetable band break up? They couldn't keep a beet.

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A skeleton walks into a bar orders a beer and a mop.

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Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball!

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My finger became really swollen after I jammed it Friday. And thats how I found out Im allergic to jam.

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Why don't robots have any brothers anymore? Because they have trans-sisters.

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Why does a milking stool have only three legs? Because the cow has the udder!

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What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? Curses! Foil again!

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What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? "Quack, quack, quack."

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*THUD* "What was that?" "My pants fell down." "...Why so loud?" "I'm wearing them."

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What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car? They pilaf.

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What do you say to your sister when she's crying? Are you having a crisis?

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