The pollen count - that's a difficult job!
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Why did the golfer need to buy a new pair of socks? Because he got a hole in one!
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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase. I don't think hes alright now.
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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you can't pick your friend's nose
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What's Beethoven's favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-naaaaa
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What is ISIS's favourite dessert? Terrormisu
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Why did the banana go to the doctor? It had a split personality.
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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator
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Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head? From a distance they look like hares!
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Why doesn't the sun need to go to University? He's too bright.
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I'll always remember what my uncle said before he passed on up... "Flying houses? Talking dogs? That movie looks dumb."
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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
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What did the dad buffalo say when his offspring left for college? Bison
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What do you call a spider with no legs? A raisin
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Why was the actor detained by airport security? He said he was in town to shoot a pilot.
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How much does a truck full of bones weigh? A skeleTon
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When German children play a game involving touching each other with bread... it's called gluten tag.
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What did the flat iron say to the follicle? Now let me get this straight...
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What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky
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