Where did Napoleon Bonaparte keep his armies? In his sleevies.
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What gun do you use to hunt a moose? A moosecut!
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A police officer bought a robot this robot was fueled by sodium and alkaline, but could only hold enough for 24 hours at a time. so every morning he had to charge it with a salt and battery.
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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
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They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, no ones laughing now.
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What did daddy fish do when mommy fish got herself lost? ...He flounder
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Why did everyone trust the marsupial? Everything he said was troo
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Some people have trouble sleeping... ...but I can do it with my eyes closed...
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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles
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Why does a rapper need an umbrella? Fo' drizzle.
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What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house? ...it was repossessed!
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What happened to the tyrannical fruit? He was impeached!
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So I was feeling down the other day... My friend wanted to cheer me up, so he told me 10 jokes to make me feel better. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why is a shooting star better than a hamburger? It's meteor.
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Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.
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What is the scientific name for a crippled tyrannosaurus rex ? Tywalkasoreus Rex
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Whats the problem with tainted money? It taint yours and it taint mine!
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Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to class? To protect her grade.
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What's a martini's favorite garnish? Olive 'em!
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