Did I tell you I'm joining a gym in Gainesborough? Because I'm all about those gains bro
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I was driving today... And saw a sign that said, "Steamed Crabs". I began to wonder: "What made them so mad?"
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What did the Estonian student say in language class? I'll never Finnish. *dodges tomato*
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I was going to go to a clairvoyants meeting the other day, but it was cancelled due to unforeseen events.
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By shear coincidence... ...all these sheep look the same...
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What's the most beautiful thing in Advanced Physics? A passing grade.
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Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?
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What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!
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What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.
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A photon checks into a hotel... The bellhop asks him if he has any luggage and the photon replies "No. I'm travelling light."
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Why cant college students take exams at the zoo? Too many cheetahs
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What did the french butter say when it got stocked in the cooler? Beurre... I came up with this today while grocery shopping. I'm ridiculously pleased with myself.
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What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam
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Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
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Pick up line for a Shakespeare lover. How now brown chicken brown cow?
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Why couldn't Elsa hold on to a balloon? She would always let it go.
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I need this plant to grow. Well, water you waiting for?
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What do you call an elephant with a poor memory? A bold and innovative departure from the hackneyed stereotypes that all too often dominate the joke-telling industry.
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Why did the strawberry cry? Because his mother was in a jam.
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