Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke joke jooooke!
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I went to the dermatologist about something on my neck- -and they said I just needed to scrub it!!!
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My uncle wanted to give all his sheep a sex change... But it entailed too many ramifications!
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What type of grain uses profanity? Vulgar Wheat
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What did the horse order at the bar? Chardaneiiiiiiggghhhhh
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Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
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I knew this guy who would ask men at church, "is your tie made out of bird cloth?" *blank stare* "It's cheep, cheep, cheep."
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How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho-path.
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What's a pigs favorite muscle? The hamstring.
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What does Drew Carey have in his driveway? Cleveland Rocks!
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What happens when a spoon and fork get into a fight? civilwar
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Why don't melons ever run away and get married? Because they cantaloupe!
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What's a reporter's favorite food? Ice cream because they always want a scoop!
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Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War? Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!
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What Johnny Mercer song does December 21st remind you of? Autumn Leaves.
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Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.
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What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large
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Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the opossum it could be done.
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