How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? A buccaneer!

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What do you call the Hamburglar's accomplice? hamburglar helpler

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A cow fell off a truck in Russia. Apparently he hadn't been Put in properly.

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What did Cinderella say while waiting for her photos? Someday my prints will come

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Knock knock. Who's there? A cow. A cow who? Not a cow "who"! A cow moos. An owl says "who".

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Why do elephants hide behind trees? To trip ants.

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What do you call a person who farts in private? A private tutor

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I thought about starting a business selling halos... ...but the cost of overheads was too high.

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What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day? Counterfitz

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I knew this guy who would ask men at church, "is your tie made out of bird cloth?" *blank stare* "It's cheep, cheep, cheep."

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You know what's the problem with Mexican and black jokes? If you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamaal.

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Better be named after what? If you had to choose, would you prefer having a disease named after you, or be named after your mother in law?

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How many Super Saiyans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just 1 but it will take 3 episodes.

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If I ever fire someone who is a Taylor Swift fan I'll say "I knew you were trouble when you clocked in."

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Why was the Headless Horseman depressed? He could never seem to get ahead in life.

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How does a fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales!

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Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four it would be a chicken sedan!

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Whats the problem with tainted money? It taint yours and it taint mine!

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What do you call a deep-sea diving dog? Scuba - Doo!

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What mysterious hair product does Lucifer use to keep himself looking good? Arcane-gel!

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