How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes? He fell into it.
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What's a difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A boomer-WRONG!
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What do you call a t-shirt with stalks of wheat on it? A crop top!
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My relationship is like Monopoly. She gives me too many Chances.
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If you bury someone in the wrong place then you have made a grave mistake.
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What is ISIS's favourite dessert? Terrormisu
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Two guys walk into a bar... the third one ducks.
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Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke joke jooooke!
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Where do dinosaurs get their pickles from? Vlasic Park
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What happens if socialism comes to the Sahara? Old Soviet-era joke told in Russia: What happens if socialism comes to the Sahara? Nothing at first, but then the sand shortages will start.
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Just wrote a book on reverse psychology... Don't read it!
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I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago... and so far, all it's been doing is gathering dust.
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Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?? It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.
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April showers bring May flowers, but what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
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A man walked into a doctor's office. He said to the doctor: "I've hurt my arm in several places." The doctor said: "Well don't go there any more."
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How is a rabbit similar to a plum? they are both purple, except for the rabbit.
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How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
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What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite animal? Well, it was cats, originally, but then he was turned to the dog side.
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Why were the treefrog's stories always so attention grabbing? Because he was absolutely ribbeting!
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