😆Exactly! Which is why I’m expecting it.

There’s fuckery afoot and I’m half expecting to find the fridge empty in the morning 😂

I’m halfway through a brief 36h fast.

My kids are walking around the house, holding their bellies, and loudly proclaiming how full they are from dinner.

My children are monsters and most assuredly get this attribute from my bride.

pretty much what my coworkers and I have been saying about work recently 🤙

blue puppy is wise

👆true

🫂 😭

no pants is always the best policy

I’m still salty my MIL got her vision fixed and now I gotta wear pants all the time

Id just rather not wear pants if that’s alright

you just brought back a dark memory friend 😭

* Just met a patient with an angry red balloon for a finger *

Me: “What you have is something called infectious tenosynovitis. It’s important that we promptly treat this with IV antibiotics. Your infection is pretty bad and will likely require surgical drainage. We have to treat this aggressively, because infections like this can get out of hand fast.”

Patient: 👀

Nurse: 👀

Me: 🤦‍♂️ “…please don’t report me to the dad joke police.”

I’m fluent in chickenscratchjibberish

😂 that’s probably true as well

🫂

Makes a bit of sense I suppose. Everyone stressed about groceries nowadays.

😂🤣 nope

tbf my friend sent me some whoren or whatever tf that is and the name made me chuckle…not being able to convert it to 🌽 made me not chuckle tho

same vibe over here

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Agreed.

🫂

😂🤣 yellow water buffalo