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Formerly employed by the Pope of Eruke. Diagnosed with a vague and grave disease by Dr. Sam Goldfarb. Misdiagnosed as ENTJ-T by web quizzes.

Even drakes abs are ghost written.

Call me crazy but I've never liked store bought sea salt and since I live so close to the coast I just take one day a month to harvest my own. Get ready with me while I get ready to get salty.

Call me old fashioned but you shouldn't be able to call yourself mother only a gay at least four years from twink death can decide that. Are you a gay at least four years from twink death Kesha? Smdh. The album is pretty amazing though. Forgiven.

Sending an email that kids and grandkids are going to have to verify as real and true might have been a misstep.

Kim, you let us down with that single.

Is he really going to win? Jesus. Amazing. Fucking go New York.

If you could disappear one invention from history, just pick boats.

McDonald's breakfast menu makes no sense when it comes to how things are priced because of this I've decided I will not wake up before 10:30㏂ until they figure this shit out.

This isn't a bagel encyclopedia.

I'll be doing my first standup set in Germany soon and I'm being told not to do Nazi jokes by everyone, but what kind of person would I be if I just blindly followed orders?

Siri, redirect all non-essential power to transmission.app!

Just. Trust me. Please. You're nasty.

https://a.co/d/14z1FkX

Geoffery Mansion MD, Rheumatology.

IT guy charged with man slaughter after visiting uncle on life support.

House of Lords sounds like a reality tv show for minor nobility.

I will make, "you're all scotch, no soda" a thing.

It's 5am on the second day of pride. I'm on my treadmill listening to Work Bitch by Britney.

She's your favorite grandmother, but I'm connected to her Aura frame cropping screenshots of Facebook.

We are not the same.

Still the funniest thing I've ever done:

https://www.instagram.com/justanideason

Men will literally invent AI instead of taking on some of the mental load of their partners.

This movement of popular culture towards country is a counterinvasion not the right gaining ground in the creative fields.