If Facebook and Instagram stopped showing the number of likes a post gets, I

wonder how many people would continue posting photos and selfies of

themselves.

-dehydratedaardvark, Aug 2016

There's a big bag of deadly acid in the middle of my body and I'm supposed to

be totally okay with that.

-Treeaza, May 2016

If you replaced the gum in most gum commercials with a tab of acid, the

commercial would still make sense.

-ReverseMermaidMorty, Aug 2016

Dating sites should use Drivers License photos, so people will have lower

expectations from the start.

-Loudsilences, Jul 2016

Humans are inherently lonely cause no one can "hear" your thoughts except

you. Even when you express some through words, you cannot describe the full

gamut of your mind.

-yeezred, Dec 2015

Halloween is the worst day to have an actual, bleeding injury

-prx_reddit, Oct 2015

Instead of colorizing photos, in 50 years we will be removing filters.

-SixSexySockPuppets, Aug 2016

Pokemon is basically cockfighting for kids.

-muhahah, Nov 2015

I can't think of a phrase with a more reverse impact than, "Calm Down".

-thatkidintomusic, Apr 2016

If we have only discovered 2085 planets and we have very roughly estimated

their are 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 exoplanets in the observable

universe. Then disregarding any extraterrestrial life now would be like taking

a tiny step in gigantic forest and saying "well there's nothing in here"

-Unstoppableguy1, Feb 2016

The "success rate" of prayer must have drastically increased after the

discovery of modern medicine

-justinbibber, May 2016

The Fat Acceptance Movement is the only movement that can be defeated by

actual movement.

-InebriatedAustrian, May 2015

What if my brown birthmark is my real skin and I'm actually a black man

covered in a white birthmark

-KuroMakura, Feb 2016

Spring time is a giant orgy for trees and plants, and we're allergic to their

semen.

-turtlenecksareforme, Jun 2013

I don't think we're thankful enough that the whole world agreed on the same

units of time.

-Pasurojiti, Jul 2016

If you're a generous person that expects nothing in return for your deeds, you

are literally good for nothing.

-jonvaughn, Aug 2016

Carrot juice is technically also orange juice

-marlinsfanert, Sep 2015

There should be a mission in the next GTA game where you show up to a drug

deal, it goes exactly as planned, and then the mission just ends with everyone

getting what they wanted.

-hopdevil93, Dec 2015

They should make a Jurassic Park film where everyone turns up to the park and

enjoys the dinosaurs safely and then returns home to submit positive online

reviews

-autonova3, Jun 2015

If the universe is 4-dimensional and we perceive the 4th spacial dimension as

'time', then we're just a stretched-out spaghetti-like string with our newborn

self at the beginning and our old self at the end. Our consciousness is like a

spark of electricity traveling down a wire.

-AltForMyRealOpinion, Feb 2016