If terrorists ever scare me as much as "being in the wrong neighborhood" in my

own country, the USA, I'll let you know.

-[deleted], May 2016

When I have kids, they'll grow up with three Star Wars trilogies, eight Harry

Potter movies, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy all available to watch

whenever they want. They'll never know my pain

-oxwearingsocks, Oct 2016

I would pay a lot of money to see every "I was born in the wrong time period"

person put into a reality TV show where they have to authentically live in

that time period.

-BookerDeWittsCarbine, Jul 2016

I'm 25 years old and I am still not used to being referred to as a 'man'

-neilddd, Jun 2016

In the future people will wake up hung over, hundreds of miles from home, in

their car with autopilot on.

-kdlasjfl, Aug 2016

I have never told person 2 that person 1 said hello.

-High_as_red, Mar 2016

I do not know which is worse: to be present and your presence not

acknowledged; or to be absent and your absence not felt.

-wizzconsin, Feb 2015

The funniest guy in the room is usually smart, but the smartest guy in the

room usually isn't very funny.

-CrispyChickenSkin, Aug 2016

Just once instead of "follow your dreams" I want to hear a celebrity say "blow

the right guy"

-Regularoldballoon, Aug 2016

I wonder how many places I've already visited for the last time.

-goodonedude, Mar 2014

We should start a campaign to get people to interrupt Kanye West. Everywhere.

-SpookyGeek, Feb 2015

(?|?) looks like The Riddler's butt cheeks

-FuckedAsBored, Jun 2014

The reason people got so angry about Michael Phelps doing weed is that it is

harder to convince your kids that drugs are bad for you when one of the

greatest athletes of all time does them, and continues to dominate.

-WeFightForever, Aug 2016

The illuminati is the worst secret society

-aspie_god, Nov 2014

I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is

-shicky536, Apr 2014

There is a whole generation who will hear Bloodhound Gang's "The Bad Touch"

and not understand what "do it like they do on the Discovery Channel" means.

-tortfeasor123, Mar 2016

I wonder if I've ever eaten a crab that was caught on TV.

-Rhino200, Jul 2014

All single men at a bar, gay or straight, kinda hope all good looking straight

men are gay.

-fortunatehobo, Nov 2015

I wonder how many times in my life I have thought "I'll always remember this,"

that I have now completely forgotten about

-hstarbird11, May 2015

With 7 billion people on Earth, every single day (24 hour period) there is

over 19 million years of human experience that occurs.

-aquaticMisanthrope, Aug 2016