Microsoft would be a horrible name for a brand of condoms.
-Omahahasob, Aug 2015
You don't feel old until scrolling to your year of birth takes too damn long
-Darkwyntr, Jun 2016
I wish the first rule of Crossfit was the same as Fight Club.
-dellwood513, Mar 2016
If my name was Brad, then I would be 75% rad.
-Wot_Gorilla_2112, Aug 2014
When uneducated Muslims in the Middle East see pictures of KKK members, do
they think it's a group of women?
-reediculus1, Jul 2014
Someone should make an Eastern European dating site called "Czech Mate"
-[deleted], Jul 2013
there must be millions of comments on reddit that never got viewed by anyone
except the OP
-gablopico, Sep 2016
I wonder if my cat thinks the delivery guy is my owner because He gives Me
food.
-Reoh, Jun 2015
I have noticed that when all the lights are on, people tend to talk about what
they are doing - their outer lives. Sitting round in candlelight or firelight,
people start to talk about how they are feeling - their inner lives.
-saraboulos, Sep 2015
I miss being the age I was when I thought I'd have it all together by the age
I am now.
-RedKnight47, Jul 2016
As an adult, I can quite literally do whatever I want to, but I always end up
wanting to just go home.
-khaleelu, Sep 2016
Mosquitoes are like dirty used needles that can fly.
-CosmosKing98, Feb 2016
Reddit has become my morning newspaper
-Krookz_, May 2016
A dildo can also be called a selfie stick.
-Brain_Beam, Oct 2015
Google is like CTRL+F for the entire internet.
-evenreptar, Feb 2014
The hardest thing I ever attempted to do was to come up with a new letter of
the alphabet without it sounding like the 26 that already existed
-wycliffe_andre, Jul 2016
If the Chargers and Rams move into a stadium together, it should be sponsered
by Dodge...
-v-shizzle, Jan 2016
My dick and stomach are like my two business partners whose sole purpose is to
run the business into the ground.
-genecalmer, Jul 2016
I got hit by a train in my dream, and it woke me up. I got knocked conscious.
-walden1nversion, Sep 2015
I am forever disappointed that a group of squid is not called a squad
-shazzbarbaric, Mar 2015