In Back To The Future II, Marty McFly travels to 21 OCT 2015. As of today, we
have only one week left for the franchise to feature time-travel into the
future. After that, all the BTTF films will feature Marty travelling into the
past from our perspective.
-ask_if_im_pikachu, Oct 2015
Shouldn't boat engines be rated in seahorsepower?
-Half_Gone, Apr 2016
What if everytime you cracked your knuckles your fingers glowed like glow
sticks.
-LurkingInthaShadows, Jul 2015
Figuratively, if someone is "killing it," "slaying it," or "murdering it" then
they are doing a great job. But if they are "butchering it" they are doing a
horrible job. These phrases have opposite connotations in real life.
-makes_the_sandwich, Dec 2015
I think we should all take a moment and be grateful our bodies don't shit
while we're asleep.
-garrett1999o3, Sep 2016
It takes longer to say "www." than "world wide web."
-thelirivalley, Nov 2013
The more attractive you are, the less likely you are to be corrected when
you're wrong. No wonder super hot people say such dumb stuff.
-SunRaSquarePants, Sep 2015
As a kid I used to think of "kicked the bucket" as a tame way to state
somebody died. I just realized as an adult it signifies kicking the bucket
from underneath your feet that is keeping you alive before you hang yourself.
-TheDukeOfEllington, Sep 2016
Sesame Street never taught me how to get to Sesame Street
-jayt236, Jun 2016
If you were to learn the English language by watching TV cop shows, you might
think that "Freeze!" means "Run!"
-[deleted], Apr 2014
YouTube should have a "disable video" function leaving only the audio when
listening to music in order to reduce data usage.
-LordZibo, May 2015
My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello. My first instinct when
I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.
-handygoat, Jun 2015
Evolution is making us taller, skinnier, with bigger eyes. Kinda alien
looking. Maybe we'll invent time travel and come back in neat little UFOs.
-JacksCologne, Jul 2016
Managers should have to get letters of recommendation from the people below
them before moving up to a higher position
-HeavyBuckets, Jul 2016
Hitler masturbated.
-Artyomic, Oct 2013
When I open the fridge, I am not checking if there's food: I'm checking if I'm
desperate enough to actually prepare the plentiful food I have.
-YankeeMinstrel, Sep 2016
Netflix needs an incognito mode so I can watch stupid things and not have
similar stuff recommended to me
-the_whalerus, Oct 2016
When an NSFW link takes longer than a few seconds to load, i start to think i
was given a chance to back out and not see what ever horrible thing the link
might be. Almost like fate.
-MrLeftwardSloping, May 2016
Turning 20 means I have now beaten teen pregnancy.
-riuseche, Nov 2015
Wouldn't it make more sense to to swear on the Constitution, instead of the
bible, while in court?
-_Bikini_Bandit_, Jun 2016