From the viewpoint of the Simpsons characters, Itchy And Scratchy has

hyperrealistic animation.

-UltraCow1, May 2014

They better put emergency alert signals on Netflix, because nobody is going to

see them on TV anymore.

-Drew1231, Jun 2015

Public school is doing a great job of preparing kids for real life by showing

them what it's like to work for a poorly managed company.

-trickyshiksa, Sep 2015

Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature

on Facebook people that you do know, but deliberately choose not to be friends

with?

-BookerGinger, Jan 2015

When my father took me out fishing when I was a kid, he used to warn me to be

quiet because we would scare the fish away. Pretty sure he just wanted me to

shut the fuck up for a few hours.

-dandy36, May 2015

If you had to donate $5 in order to change your profile picture, my news feed

would probably be a lot less french

-quacker245, Nov 2015

"Mac" is an acronym for "Mac and cheese"

-peatymasta, Oct 2013

People in the year 9999 might claim that the Gregorian Calendar ends there and

that Italians predicted that the universe would then end.

-SYLOH, Jun 2015

reddit should make art contests for the 503 (all servers are busy) error page

image and change it every few days so it will be cool to see the new funny

images and less frustrating to see reddit down all the time.

-algae12, Feb 2015

The best item to protect you from sasquatch attacks is a camera.

-papertank17, Aug 2015

Op can finally get married

-camdeno100, Jun 2015

Snoop Dogg has probably been stoned for longer than I have been alive.

-YaBoyLantony, Sep 2016

Satan must get lots of mail from dyslexic children on Christmas

-singlewave, Nov 2014

I have a fear that someone will break in my house while I'm pooping and I have

to fight him without wiping.

-OystersClamssCockles, Feb 2016

Wouldn't it make more sense to to swear on the Constitution, instead of the

bible, while in court?

-_Bikini_Bandit_, Jun 2016

Are Medusa's leg hairs tiny snakes?

-Achooah, Jul 2015

The most environmentally-friendly thing a person can do is not have children

-SellingSomeShit, Jul 2015

Public bathrooms should have background music playing so you don't have to sit

in silence listening to EVERYTHING happening in the stalls next to you.

-Halfsane1, Feb 2015

We're lucky that sound can't travel through the vacuum of space. If it could,

the universe would be incredibly loud.

-WHALEDAD, Oct 2016

0 AD was just over 2000 years ago. That's only about 30 modern lifetimes laid

back-to-back.

-eigenpants, Dec 2013