Life is just a constant battle between wanting a six pack and wanting a six

pack.

-NOTW_116, Jul 2015

Stop smoking ads has gotten to the point where they're more obnoxious than

smokers themselves

-Bear_Wizard72, Aug 2016

I have never heard a woman narrate a movie trailer.

-Prexmorat, Jun 2015

If phone companies stopped trying to make phones thinner we might get

reasonable battery life.

-JDaxe, Aug 2016

Instead of .ca Canadian websites should end with .eh

-HappyTheBunny, Feb 2015

In GTA I only get shot if I'm wielding a gun or a crime has actually been

committed. Proving that video games are only slightly less violent than the

reality they are based on.

-Nato-jenkins, Jul 2016

ATMs should allow for a panic pin number so that if you are being forced to

withdraw money, the police will be secretly notified while the machine "is

taking a strangely long amount of time" to complete the withdrawal.

-Power2TheSheeple, Jul 2016

A non-English speaker would never believe the spoken sentence "Ted had said

that Ed had edited it" means anything.

-ChalkboardCowboy, Apr 2015

The body acceptance movement never happened for men because we're fine with

looking like shit.

-Killhouse, Sep 2015

Babies cry all the time because the worst thing that's ever happened to them,

happens on a regular basis.

-darwinwasadopted, Feb 2015

A swear jar is literally a jar of fucks given.

-TinyPlaidNinjas, Aug 2015

It's been over a decade and we still haven't introduced bold and italics to

text messages.

-niko-, Jan 2015

Why are there 2 A's in Aaron? Why not 6? What's stopping us?

-sdendis, Mar 2015

They should get the scientists who work on shampoo technology to move to more

important fields like cancer research. Judging by commercials, they seem to be

making scientific breakthroughs at an astounding rate.

-Balfe, Oct 2015

Because of Tinder, it's easier for me to meet women on my toilet than at a

bar.

-big_rusty, Jul 2016

Orange is the New Black would have been a good name for a Jersey Shore rap

album

-when_did_i_grow_up, Apr 2014

In this solar system, all problems on Earth are third world problems.

-koulnis, Mar 2015

A polo referee should ride a zebra

-minnesotan_youbetcha, Sep 2015

The Olympics should give out platinum medals to anyone who breaks a world

record

-I_enjoy_avocados, Aug 2015

If Anthony Weiner ran for president in 2016 and Eric Holder was his vice

president, the campaign bumper stickers would say "Weiner Holder 2016".

-baeb66, Apr 2014