I wonder how many times I've been in a photo unintentionally and if people

have framed photos of me in their houses because I'm in the background of

their photo

-Breadboy22, May 2014

Lesbian chatrooms are probably filled with men pretending to be lesbians

talking to other men pretending to be lesbians

-Epicdemic93, Feb 2015

We should have a holiday called Space Day, where lights are to be shut off for

at least an hour at night to reduce light pollution, so we can see the galaxy.

-bmg1001, Jan 2015

Darth Vader could fall asleep in Imperial meetings and nobody would notice.

-followmylied, Jul 2016

I often google how to spell a word before I correct someone for spelling it

wrong, to make sure I'm right.

-DJS_88, Apr 2016

If two naked gay men laid next to each other, and one of the men's fetish is

an erect penis, and the other's a flaccid penis, and both were turned off by

the opposite of their fetish, they would be in a neverending cycle of boners

and boner-killers

-Mrpapaweegee, Apr 2015

The word "nun" is just the letter "n" doing a cartwheel.

-CreeperDays, Mar 2015

They should rename Wet Dreams to Snoregasms

-jailop, Dec 2014

My Xbox Live gamertag is older than some of the people I play with over Xbox

Live.

-gmurz, Jun 2016

Peter Quill, Star Lord, and Owen Grady, Raptor Trainer, Both Sound like

characters Andy Dwyer would create for himself

-Judeunduli, Jul 2015

If you got your tongue stuck in a mouse trap, you'd start pronouncing it mouth

trap, and that is also what it would be, and that is pleasing

-[deleted], May 2015

The reason i like reddit is it gives me answer to questions i didn't even know

how to ask.

-regokey, Apr 2015

Before I die, want to hire some people to come to my funeral dressed in suits

and sunglasses and do some like bizarre salute when they leave so people think

I lived like a cool second life.

-ChuggingALavalamp, Jul 2015

You only have problems if you care.

-kries_, Jan 2014

Now that I'm in college, my curfew is whenever my phone runs out of battery.

-walrusbot, Nov 2015

You could just post a picture of a random object and say it's cake and people

would be super impressed.

-[deleted], Oct 2016

You know shit just went down in a tv episode when they show the credits with

no music

--I-am-jack-, May 2016

Two of the biggest problems after a hurricane are not having enough water and

having way too much water.

-AlexTwice, Oct 2016

I bet there's a direct relationship between the rise of smartphone usage and a

decline in bathroom stall graffiti.

-manic_lethargy, Jul 2015

The phrase "what an asshole" could be considered a compliment in the right

moment.

-Jacksoffwithhotsauce, Nov 2015