With all the porn I've watched in my life I wonder how many times I've watched

someone get an STD

-wakir, Jul 2016

If I select text in Word, I should be able to capitalize all of it by hitting

caps lock, or put it all in quotes by hitting the quotation mark

-awinnie, Nov 2015

I wonder if I've ever eaten an egg that came from a chicken I ate.

-LuciferJohnson, Nov 2015

"Having a stroke" sounds like a British euphemism for masturbation

-audible_dog_fart, Jun 2015

The missing Malaysia flight 370 is exactly what the show "Lost" would've

looked like from the rest of the world's POV.

-Sac_Man10, Dec 2015

Chief Wiggum and his wife look very similar. If they were siblings, that would

explain a lot about Ralph Wiggum.

-hankmarkdukis, Apr 2015

Captain America teaches children that steroids make you more attractive and

better at fighting evil

-Skweres88, Dec 2015

Homeless people are the ultimate proof that ignoring a problem doesn't make it

go away.

-TouchedThePoop, May 2015

/r/AnimalPorn would be a great but horrible name for /r/aww

-AlphaApache, Feb 2015

Traveling is just a real world type of DLC: you pay a bunch of money to unlock

a part of the game that you couldn't get to otherwise.

-MasterOfAnalogies, Mar 2016

I wonder how many strangers have stories about me.

-tanzmeister, Jun 2015

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is basically Saw, but with desserts.

-[deleted], Sep 2015

People call a man a bitch when he is being a pussy, but call a woman a bitch

when she is being a dick.

-SpazmaticCrackAddict, Mar 2015

Remember that every corpse on Everest was once a highly motivated person.

-lukianp, Sep 2016

I am surprised more ELI5 answers arent "because i told you so".

-Sparchs, Jun 2015

Celebrities can check each others' relationship status with Wikipedia rather

than Facebook.

-SakuraSan, May 2015

Maybe North Korean scientists and engineers aren't incompetent and are

actually just sabotaging efforts to increase North Koreas military for the

good of the world.

-CastIronHotDog, Oct 2016

I'm old enough to remember when the internet did not have ads

-Otalgia, Jun 2016

Defibrillators are the medical version of "Have you tried turning it off and

on again?"

-Peter_Zwegat, Mar 2016

As a straight dude, I'm totally pumped to watch some Gay Divorce Court.

-PinkFreudianSlips, Jun 2015