People used to be fat because they could afford good food, now they're fat

because they can't afford good food

-Notmyname4, Jun 2016

There has most likely been a time in your life in which you had an interaction

with a stranger who died later that day.

-Blackbettyshamalam, Apr 2015

When I see 'wtf' written I immediately think 'what the fuck' but when I see

'lol' I think it as 'lol'

-r_il, Oct 2016

Enrique Iglesias and Eric Church have basically the same name just in a

different language.

-the_caitallo, Apr 2016

I wonder if I've ever paid with the same note or coin more than once.

-mjarc, Jul 2014

When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow

-benji9t3, Sep 2013

Casinos should play monopoly with actual money

-Billobatch, Dec 2015

Pizza is the 'Vitruvian Man' of foods. It is shaped like a circle, is cut into

triangles, and is enclosed within a square.

-FoxyFoxMulder, Nov 2015

The best part of any movie based on a true story is the part at the very end

when they show pictures of the actual people the movie was about.

-humansof, Aug 2016

A condom wrapper is packaging for your package's packaging

-Kugablah, May 2016

A person from 150 years ago would be terrified by modern stuff. However, a

duck from 150 years ago would just be all like, still got lakes? yes ? okay

cool

-ChrismaLA, Apr 2016

We live in a time when it's more socially acceptable for a child to be on

amphetamines than it is for an adult to smoke pot.

-DrSkyentist, Nov 2015

The term anal bleaching is a bit crude. Why not 'change your ringtone'?

-pdfclef, Nov 2015

10,000's or 100,000's of people all keeping a secret for 50 years that the

moon landings were faked would be a far greater achievement than actually

landing on the Moon.

-rembic, Dec 2015

If someone forgets to clear the time on the microwave, after 3 minutes it

should automatically default back to displaying the time.

-AssaultBuick, Aug 2016

When a gay guy hugs a girl does he say 'no hetero?'

-American_quack, Jul 2015

Some guy named frank must have been very straight forward.

-[deleted], Jan 2014

Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi are pretty pale for living on a desert

planet with two suns.

-NomTesler, Jul 2016

Your spouse is technically your ex boyfriend/girlfriend. They just got

promoted, not fired.

-asneakycucumber, Oct 2015

Someday future archaeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think it

was some bizarre mouse-worshiping kingdom.

-TheButt69, Dec 2015