chocolate lava cake is still only chocolate magma cake until you start eating

it.

-theBaconBadger, Oct 2016

I can't wait till 2020 so I can wear those New Year's Eve glasses and

continuously make the joke about 20-20 vision.

-roobopp, Oct 2016

Blues singer Buddy Guy has the most Canadian-sounding name ever.

-WriterDave, Feb 2016

If "4:20 blaze it" is a common time to smoke, why isn't high noon a thing?

-TheGreatPenguino, Apr 2016

Google should mess with us by always making the link to the dejà vu Wikipedia

page purple

-SUFC1889, Mar 2015

When Fallout 4 is out, people everywhere will spend a long time inside,

playing a game about emerging from being inside for a long time

-Itsapocalypse, Nov 2015

Wrong is spelled wrong in the dictionary.

-neal_the_seal, Mar 2014

NSFW Porn has probably helped reduce the rate of teen pregnancies by

popularizing external ejaculation.

-dablueloon, Nov 2015

I'll give a million dollars to the man who can do something about

motherfucking webpages moving an inch just before I click something so I hit

the wrong link.

-Miles_Prowess, Jun 2016

The raid at Google's HQ in Paris is literally a Google search.

-JarkAttack, May 2016

Does the hole in the middle of a doughnut still exist after you've eaten it?

-MeMuzzta, Mar 2016

I trust the world so little, I look both ways when crossing a one-way sreet.

-aceofspadez4790, Jul 2016

If 9/11 had happened in June, Seven-Eleven would have been screwed.

-TopHatz, Jul 2013

If you had never heard of the boogie man before you might think he's a pretty

cool guy.

-TacQT1me, Aug 2015

My legacy to the world will probably be a bunch of comments I left in forums

buried forever on the internet.

-Chuntzy, Mar 2016

Few things in life are more irritating than making an awesome joke (quip,

witty remark), having no one hear it but one person - who laughs, repeats the

joke, and for some reason everyone hears THEM so they get full credit for your

joke.

-Kande1328, Oct 2016

Every year Maddam Tussaud sculptures get better. What if this is not because

they get better at making them, but because our celebrities are gradually

looking more like fake wax sculptures themselves, with all the photoshop and

plastic surgery they receive?

-desperadojoe, Aug 2015

If all men get a boner every morning, then it means humanity has been doing an

unending boner wave around the earth since forever.

-steveo202c, Jun 2016

The people living in the Renaissance didn't know they were living in the

Renaissance. I wonder what period future historians will call present day.

-Peekmeister, May 2016

We have two universal languages: mathematics, and music. One to describe the

universe, and one to describe how we feel about it.

-Alfalfa_Centauri, Aug 2016