My current relays setup:

- Chronicle relay for inbox/outbox/dm and backup all my conversations

- Wot-relay to access my social-graph notes

- Pyramid.fiatjaf.com as secondary WoT relay + OpenTimestamp

- Nostr.wine to let flow in events outside the WoT with a good spam protection

- A couple of big relays (nos.lol, damus) as outbox relays, without announcing them (Gossip feature)

This setup, together with clients that support the Outbox model (mandatory!), is working extremely well, zero spam, snappy clients and low bandwidth usage.

TL;DR; The Outbox model plus some WoT wizardly, wins

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Writing up specific details in a long post would probably earn you a good chunk of sats.

What kind of details might be helpful?

What clients you're using and where to install them.

Which relay implementations you're referring to (and links to their source).

Any relay configurations that allow any of the aforementioned affordances.

Etc...

Basically what you would do if you had to get back to this setup from a clean slate.

There should be no delays in accepting notes, but in the last days we got several spam attacks and many relay tried to filter them, so this may have generated some rejections.

I suggest you to use a client that fully support the Outbox model, pick up a couple of public relays and a paid one with a good spam protection, to try to be visible to those using WoT relays.

Next step: run your own relay.

If can be useful:

nostr:nevent1qqsqqqq32xv7lhdrt2fdsp9za5un2wacaz735zqu0zrdlzeyn0mtk3qpr3mhxue69uhkxmm4de68y6t9wvhxv6tpw34xze3wvdhk6tczypaaaaa7ytwcuk05vq8qgj498gw0jadfm37j0h6cxw780kmcffvq2qcyqqqqqqgva957d

Nice, I have a question about the last item "...as outbox relays, without announcing them (Gossip feature)". How is an Outbox relay unannounced? isn't the point of Outbox relays to tell others where to get your notes? or maybe configure them as Write but not Outbox (Gossip).