You're asking for too much.
But for people that want to zap privately we can just have a very web2.0 webpage where you can go and pay directly and that gets computed by the relay and you get access, should be simple to do.
Discussion
Haha! Sorry, I didn't really mean it as an ask. Just observation.
That seems like it would work, sort mixing what the wine creatr relay does and this. That would make relay management & advertising that much easier for the content creator too.
i only priv8 zap
and i read my inbox w thunderhub