>Not so with LN. Thanks to atomic swaps...

you say "Not so with LN", then proceeds to mention how it's an added workaround

that means if it's not default with LN, then xmr wins by default since every output is always a proxy output, not so with LN. Knowing if they have control or not over coins is useless because I want to know where they end up. If I know the coins I sent to you end up at "node X", I concluded my goal. And it's the same as you knowing the xmr you sent went to "output 123abc"

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seems to me his point is just "the blockchain is forever"

ie there is cryptographic proof that address controlled those funds forever.

which is a legit concern.

he's just misrepresenting it.

> then proceeds to mention how it's and added workaround

The nice thing about this "added workaround" is, it's undetectable. Consequently, the sender cannot know if you're doing it. They don't know if the node that looks like the destination is the real destination or a decoy. Monero does not have this feature because it is sender-traceable by design.

> every output is always a proxy output

Zero monero outputs are ever proxy outputs if by that you mean "they hide the real recipient from the sender." They cannot be because the sender creates them in monero. He necessarily knows exactly where the money goes because he picked the destination and did not create a decoy.

> if I know the coins I sent to you end up at "node x"

This is the fundamental difference: with lightning, you never know that. The destination might be a decoy and you as the sender have no way of detecting that.