can we upsell you on a mahogany coffin reasonably priced from our cache of pilfered war goods?

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your daddy stayed your daddy instead of becoming your mommy just so you could enjoy this wonderful life. the least you can do is bury him in a box of fine wood.

can you imagine? the government and their sidehustle funeral parlor featuring exotic wood caskets not even giving your dad the dignity of a she/her in death

can't have your pronouns

can have a final box made of wood your eyes will never see

truly the best tho

finest wood in town

your two incarcerated siblings wont be there

at the funeral

but you can use jpay or securus afterwards to fill them in on the priest's homily for 59.99 a minute

and if you buy ten minutes upfront the

eleventh minute is half off but you lose it if you dont use it