My neighbor hates trees. One of those giant useless green lawn people. Once told me they've spent around $20k removing trees from their property since they bought their house.

My new orchard is on that property line. Partially because that is where I have the space and partially because they aren't good neighbors. I want the visual screen and I want to get revenge for something they did.

Yesterday he approached me while planting.

Him: why you planting so many trees man?

Me in my most innocent tone: they're fruit trees.

Him after confused blinks: they're fruit trees?

Me: they make fruit

Him: :confused stare:

Me: you put them in your yard and you get free fruit.

Him: free fruit?

Me: Yeah, fruit is food so free food.

Him: you realize what a mess they'll be in 10 years dropping sticks everywhere?

Me: you realize they are a 30 year supply of the freshest fruit at the best prices?

He just shook his head and walked away.