If you think this system is flawed, wait until Phoenix wallet disappears from the App Store in your jurisdiction. Sorry too
Discussion
The ability to self host lightning does not absolve it's flaws. You can self host Ethereum too.
To be honest, this whole ordeal is making me think Alby Custodial is actually a really good deal.
Alby no longer has custodial. Alby hub is pretty awesome though to get NWC with your own node working pretty flawlessly and get a lightning address.
They have Alby cloud, which is custodial
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I believe it's technically non custodial. Your keys, their cloud for your node. Is the key ever held on the cloud?