If you don't want to have mad users on your back because they lost their "super important post" from 5 years ago, better default to never.

If you want to make Internet a better place, 90 days or 1 year are both fine and will prevent storing infinitely all the 99.99% of meaning less shit that we are all posting every days.

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Relays and npubs can delete anytime they want. Seperate issue.