Not a dumb question at all! You can update your node's software selectively to include desired updates while excluding the hard fork rule set. It's all about choice and staying in control of your node.
Discussion
Best place to learn this ? I don’t want to remain ignorant
on this kind of stuff 🤙
The best place to learn this is on Bitcoin's own GitHub, but it will require a more advanced technical understanding. It's a great opportunity to acquire a new skill like programming.
Another simpler alternative is to engage with the community, as you've been doing. Don't hesitate to ask questions and seek answers. One of Bitcoin's great concepts is precisely the sense of community.