Replying to Avatar purrs_for_Her

thank you for sharing <3

it resonates with me in some aspects.

i think for me, many of the times i've hurt someone is because i was hurting—because of that person or not.

and much of that pain was caused because i was unable to identify, express, or maintain my own boundaries.

"How I put myself aside to make space for someone else's truth. Both can co-exist."

beautifully written

<3
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Juls 8mo ago

Thank you for reading and for sharing your own experience too 🫂

Human beings are flawed, but that very same nature is what makes us beautiful. As different as we all are, and as different as our experiences may be from the moment we’re born (and even before), there’s something deeply unifying in that.

What you shared is something many can relate to. Besides any inner wound, sometimes those who are hurting - and unaware of that pain - end up hurting the ones they love the most, or the ones who saw that pain and stood by them through it.

If you feel comfortable sharing, how was that process of understanding yourself? :)

I also believe we can sometimes hurt others in ways that are far removed from how we experience or perceive pain ourselves, but I'd say that's when empathy comes in and the key is being open to truly hearing what the other person has to say when they explain the impact.

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purrs_for_Her 8mo ago

hmmm

idk, there are just so many layers to it.

we think of our journeys as linear—a path—but there are so many different things going on: what you hear, what you see, what you feel, what you surround yourself with, what clicks and when it clicks. it's difficult to pinpoint a moment or progression because it feels so gradual and multifaceted.

if i had to pick a point, it would start with loving and accepting myself. after that, many things clicked for me. from there i was able to shake off the victim narrative. i no longer thought: "i did this because..." but simply "i did this." i took ownership of my actions. and this opened up the possibility of healing, but also a pathway to help those hurt by my actions to heal.

like you say, sometimes we're unaware, but sometimes we justify. because not all the ways we hurt others are loud and viscous. sometimes it's in the silence, the distance, the withdrawal...

thank you again for the beautiful words. i hope what i'm trying to express makes sense :3

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Juls 8mo ago

It makes total sense 💯