If you are long married, do you ever wonder how you'd fare in the current marriage market, if you were the same age, again?
#marriage #dating #relationships
Discussion
All Nostriches, who have managed to get married and stay married for at least 10 years (even if they are divorced, now), feel free to respond.
That already puts you in the statistical "long marriage" category, if you can believe it.
That's like 3 npubs, amiright? 😂
I wasn’t sure if my 20 years counted as “long” 😂
No, I don’t often wonder. Pretty sure I’d be just fine though.
Eight years is the average length of a marriage (median is much longer) and California family law considers 10 years a long duration, so I went with that.
It would be no problem for me. I would change my last name to Saylor and explain that he’s my brother. And also that I’m an astronaut.
I wouldn't bother.
Didn't work out?
Oh, you mean, the market is so bad, you'd just skip it?
Yeah, temptation to be a nun at ATH.
Yea, no way I'm looking for a serious relationship of something every happened to my wife. Till death do us part. After that, it's just fun and games until the Lord takes me.
Oh but I suppose the question is if I'm 20 again, and had never been married. I would be looking. Although I would have no idea where to begin and the dating scene is disgusting in this day and age. But I wouldn't give up. The meaning of life is reproducing and I wouldn't do that with anyone but a life long partner.
i think about this from time to time when i read or hear about other people's struggles.
i feel like if i could keep the knowledge and insights i've learned, then i would be okay.
if i was just 20-something year-old me again i'd be wrecked lol
i truly got lucky :3
i do ponder such things... i like to think id do okay but also seems terrifying, getting adept at internet dating seems unavoidable and i never had to do that.
> getting adept at internet dating seems unavoidable
Please share your thoughts?
just seems how people find dates, based on what i see in my friends / family that are out there looking.
I ask because I'm not sure the world has changed in such a way that online dating is "required" (not trying to put words in your mouth) I suppose it could make things more convenient, but idk. These are genuine questions for me, because I'm experiencing the same thing. I struggle finding ways to meeting new people anyway, so online can seem appealing, but yeah. Like did all single people go inside and hide? Like where are they? lol
Again when I use "required" I mean a "required" skill to add to the ways of dating.
I could imagine meeting someone over the Internet, from a forum or something. Or Nostr. 😁 But not Tinder.
It'd be cool if more Nostriches paired up.
A lot of singles seem to genuinely be hiding, since COVID. Permanent lockdown.
Would be neat! I don't think I've even been opposed to the reach that the internet makes available. Like the chances of meeting someone more "compatible" has the potential to increase but idk what the stats actually say. That and a cultural position: does one actually benefit in a long term marriage from this reach.
Also, I'm pretty sure I'm a baby compared to the majority of nostriches (at least the one's I interact with)
I got engaged just as Tinder was launched and feel so fortunate. Can’t imagine having to do that.
I got lucky that my wife came from humble beginnings and she was patient with me as we stacked and saved.- I believe it was due to the fact that she wasn’t born in the US and trying to keep up with the Jones.
Personally, I don’t think the majority of American women would have been so open, and understanding to the struggle.
Hubs says I'd do fine, I say I wouldn't even try. It looks exhausting. 🤷♀️
Been married for 7 years, but together for 15 years.
Nowadays, if I were single, I wouldn't bother. I'd be too busy to attempt dating.
A crazy addition to dating these days would be wondering whether your date had been vaxxed as they could say they weren’t but there’s no way to prove it.
Even more, I've become more curious of those who are in marriages or long term relationships ONLY because they are to afraid to be alone, or dating again. Once maried, it seems like friend circles shrink, and even break off. Ive seen many older couples quite sequestered, and lack the skills to feel confident meeting new people. They're more introverted and never developed these skills, because they never had to. Married young to someone, likely around them often, when they were teenagers or college.
fear of the partner straying, thanks to a climate of promiscuity
I suppose, but I don't think that's a new phenomenon, if anything, I'd argue its declined since somewhere in the 70s. I know very few long time mariges from the 50s to now that didn't struggle with a partner cheating. My sources are not the internet's business XD
it's actually a recurring phenomenon across the ages... in the late 19th century, russia was having its' "free love" time, and the very ❤️ symbol itself actually originates from a time in rome, this represents a leaf of a plant that stimulates abortion (not sure, maybe it's actually rivea corymbosa, aka morning glory, the leaf shape is the same)
humans keep falling for the same shit over and over again, i'm sure if you wanted to do a really deep historical survey you can find times where the fad of "free love" arose over and over again and find the same kind of scum, possibly even historically connected scum promoting it
The "heart" shape is a woman's ass seen from above and nobody can convince me otherwise. Everything else is a lie that was told to curious children.
https://www.history.com/news/what-is-the-origin-of-the-heart-symbol
generally it actually was simply ornamental, or maybe related to some plants like the ivy as mentioned above... and yes, it is abortifactant like i said
not saying it's the *origin* of it but there are related symbols that more accurately represent the three chambers of the heart, as discussed in this link:
also, i think the most explicitly female sexual version is the one that made it onto playing cards via the Tarot... the original symbol was in fact a chalice, and the wand and chalice are euphemisms used in old writings about sexual conjurations, the spades or swords represent the mind and the disks represents matter
I don't know if that's an effect of marriage, or if you're just seeing introverts double-down on being introverts together. My hubby and I are sociable types, and arguably more so, since we've been married because we get dragged into each other's activities.
Marriage probably exaggerates the effect, in either direction.
Really poorly
Great question. Who wouldn't want to be young again? I think I would be equally poor. None of my life experience working and parenting gave me any more pickup game.
Our dating pools are ridiculously tiny so basically no chance at all
No.