One technique that helps with this is Nip05s. Nip05s are just an http query to a server that never changes. Those have your preferred relay. Clients can connect to that preferred relay(s) and pull your nip65 relay list and your contact list, and from there gather everything else using relay hints.
Not sure if clients support a relay list from NIP-05 😒
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its called nip-65
NIP-05 also had a relay list.