I mean for starters, there are hundreds that are literal technical clones of Bitcoin, how are they any worse?

Bitcoin is just the one that gained perceived value, it's only better because it's a speculative asset.

Monero for example, while not perfect, is superior in almost every way.

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The clones don't have the network. A large part of Bitcoin's potency is the massive network of hashpower it commands.

True, though at the same time it's one of its downsides, surely there must be more power efficient ways of PoW consensus than warehouses full of ASICs.

This is not a bug, it's a feature. It's not efficient, and that's the point. It makes system exploits very expensive.

Maybe. But even if not, it's still better and more peaceful than the current system of military and fiat hegemony.

Compare the Bitcoin network's energy use to the US government and military-monetary industrial complex and I think you'll see who comes out more favorably.

Have you looked into how people are using Bitcoin mining operations to balance the electrical grid in places and reduce waste?