This was then further complicated as the intake nurse has been besieged by calls from Mr greasy fats McWaller of "McWallers prawn empire" who has sworn an affidavit under oath that he has "caught Deano shoving handfuls of canned beans and prawns up his own stinking arse" like a "deranged enema ritual" in the time he has provided refuge in his walk in freezer that houses copious quantities of old and expired prawns at 22 degrees Celsius.

An escalating erotomanic delusion is now suspected. It is also clear that Fats has turfed out Mr Meldrum in an attempt to air out and thaw his freezer and in a refusal to "house a bean pusher".

As of 5.33 pm Indonesian time the switchboard has received 3 calls regarding Dean's whereabouts

A. Barista at Jimbaran Espresso saw Dean racing down the beach barefoot with cans inserted into his anus, and expired prawns and various crustacean tails trailing and dropping from his shorts

B. Jimbaran Uber, uber driver saw a bean tomato slurry splattering onto the ground as Dean ran

C. Tik tok influencer with 1.2 m followers saw 3 live prawns scuttling behind Dean in formation with pinchers raised and outstretched with footage trending under "beanbumrun" attracting a large viewing