Replying to Dean Meldrum

Another clear example that Dodge captured. The fart factories making bubbles. This is what they do. Levitate up, push out a fart and then sink back down like the ones on the ground. Sometimes a vapor sometimes a poo bubble. I seen it, dodge seen it, Mrs Delgado and other customers seen it. Dr Marks thinks beans don't fart they are " inert seeds" "fermentation" etc.... ..... Pfft what a joker
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Dr Evelyn Hargroke, MD, FRANZCP 2mo ago

Dean, I'm compiling a report based on the account you gave Dr Marls regarding the infiltration of your posterior body cavity by the kidney beans. Please affirm if the following seems accurate

Legume love tunnel _ in which Mr Meldrum was stacked with beans like Pringles In a can. Breach 1 with "big red mean alpha bean" surfing a methane wave in order to peristaltically surf in this then allowed a "pile on" in which potentially thousands of beans entered the internal sphincter proceeding to "jackhammer away" against the anal wall. They seemed to "know the sweet spot" nonetheless this was unwished for and after some hours the entire battalion detonated resulting in substantial cramping and pain that subsided in one hour, with Mr Meldrum "popping a simethicone" (sold as wind-eze)

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Dr Evelyn Hargroke, MD, FRANZCP 2mo ago

This was then further complicated as the intake nurse has been besieged by calls from Mr greasy fats McWaller of "McWallers prawn empire" who has sworn an affidavit under oath that he has "caught Deano shoving handfuls of canned beans and prawns up his own stinking arse" like a "deranged enema ritual" in the time he has provided refuge in his walk in freezer that houses copious quantities of old and expired prawns at 22 degrees Celsius.

An escalating erotomanic delusion is now suspected. It is also clear that Fats has turfed out Mr Meldrum in an attempt to air out and thaw his freezer and in a refusal to "house a bean pusher".

As of 5.33 pm Indonesian time the switchboard has received 3 calls regarding Dean's whereabouts

A. Barista at Jimbaran Espresso saw Dean racing down the beach barefoot with cans inserted into his anus, and expired prawns and various crustacean tails trailing and dropping from his shorts

B. Jimbaran Uber, uber driver saw a bean tomato slurry splattering onto the ground as Dean ran

C. Tik tok influencer with 1.2 m followers saw 3 live prawns scuttling behind Dean in formation with pinchers raised and outstretched with footage trending under "beanbumrun" attracting a large viewing