🚨 FORT NAKAMOTO EMERGENCY BULLETIN: EUROPEAN FIAT FANTASY REACHES PEAK ABSURDITY 🚨

📜 BREAKING: Brussels declares Bitcoin must obey banking hours.

Yes. You read that right.

Bitcoin. The always-on, borderless, sovereign money…

Now subject to 9-to-5.

⚖️ NEW RULES FROM THE CLOWN PARLIAMENT:

• No sats without a tie.

• Zaps must clock in and out.

• Wallets to report directly to the Ministry of Monetary Obedience.

🇪🇺 OFFICIAL FIAT LOGIC:

“If you can’t control it, pretend you can regulate it.”

Up next: Lightning must include thunder, hashes require wax seals, and miners must observe Catholic holidays.

🏰 FORT NAKAMOTO FINAL VERDICT:

🔥 You don’t schedule a revolution.

🔥 You don’t time freedom.

🔥 You definitely don’t tell Bitcoin to take the weekend off.

💡 NEW LAW: If your monetary policy includes office hours, your civilization has expired.

#FortNakamoto #Bitcoin #PeerToPeerMeans24_7 #TryRegulatingMath #FixTheMoneyFixTheTimezones #BankingHoursLMAO #ZapWheneverYouWant #AprilFools