back to the song:

I know the territory, I've been around

It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down

Sooner or later you'll be screwing around

I won't do that

No, I won't do

----

"the sooner or later you'll be screwing around"

is not my accusation

so i am not the one saying that

so gently to everyone who is severely monogamous, which is fine

i am not severely monogamous

i do not experience jealousy like that

i am a very: everyone is self sovereign over their own precious body

another person's body is not my business

even someone i ~am~ sleeping with unless do to their poor judgement, lack of medical care, and respect for me, get ~me~ sick

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i do not care if that is such an L

as in, im sorry it is not popular to feel this way

i am sorry that comes across very heavy on some "not like other girls" inherently misogynist tip

i mean it

but i do get to be me and not some paragon of virtue

cos honestly? it is a deeper virtue to me that i am holding to

self sovereignty

if i was married

and my husband cheated on me without letting me know

and then gave me hiv

i would be so pissed i would divorce him

if i was married

and my husband cheated on me without letting me know and then was like: baby i have the worst news in the world, i have hiv

i would not divorce him

that's ~me~

dont be me or be me

like whatever i am not saying i am: "correct"

im saying that's where i am

why am i sharing this?

because it is an intrinsic distinction to my lived experience of me

i carry it, i carry it in

once there was someone who insisted on buying me a plane ticket

i didnt know why

to me i was like: ive got it i dont want you to

he really insisted

i really insisted back

and i started to think this disagreement didnt bode well for us for the future

we never met up

he later told me he was sorry he was so insistent but he was that insistent because he did not want the cash i threw in for the plane ticket to compel me to sleep with him if something felt wrong when he shared what he only wanted to share in person