Nostr Web Client

I think it’s easy to say just mute the person. But if you don’t have the lived experience of being a woman, or being part of a marginalized group, you will never understand our experience, especially what it’s like to be on nostr.

I love nostr AND it’s challenging to be here because it feels like (again, from my perspective) another man’s world; built by men, for men, that only men will truly benefit from (if you feel defensive after reading that, you may want to self-reflect on why).

I understand the purpose and updates being made consistently. But without some type of protection from the /harassment/hate, I just can’t see nostr expanding the ways it’s envisioned.

I appreciate the men on here that have been kind to me and have my back. You’re the only reason I’ve stayed 🫂

And please don’t come for me, I’m tired today 😂

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Mike Dilger ☑️ 1y ago 💬 5

Because I don't have your lived experience I'm not familiar with the harrassment/hate. I'm sorry to hear about it. But I take it very seriously, and so I want to escalate implementing reporting and labelling features in the gossip client. These are defined in NIP-32 and NIP-56. We have a lot on our plate so it may be two versions out, but we didn't even have it slated previously.

I once said I called my client 'gossip' because I thought it would be more appealing to women. That comment was not received well by some women. I'm terribly sorry to have such an ignorant man-brain that thought women gossip more than men. I said what I thought was true, but I guess I was wrong, and I'm sorry.

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Discussion

🦋 1y ago 💬 1

We all forgive you for man-brain, but because you said something and are willing to do something about it! Thank you for hearing feedback and understanding how it comes off to others. I appreciate you 🫂

It's Moro! 1y ago

collective labeling of hate, web of trust filtering and then being able to filter your experience based on the communities flags in an function users can set before they,read their first note is the way we protect people and keep the nostr...nostr-y. all with opt-in featuring so users still can choose to take the well lit street or the dark alley 🤙

It's Moro! 1y ago

in an easy initial setup function*

freecritter 1y ago 💬 2

nostr:npub1acg6thl5psv62405rljzkj8spesceyfz2c32udakc2ak0dmvfeyse9p35c - what features are possible besides block? Is it based on WoT that would reduce the need to block? For instance a user could set a threshold of at least 20 or could it be that a minimal zap amount is set?

I ask because I'm only aware of muting so curious what else you could do with your client.

Mike Dilger ☑️ 1y ago

People could subscribe to a censor. Then if that censor issues a 1984 event, the client could mute that event.

Crash Test Dummy 1y ago

That seems so George Orwell-ian.

Weatherall 1y ago

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pam 1y ago 💬 1

I am that woman who did not like women labelled as gossipers =)

It's a pet peeve for me to bitch about people when you have a million better things to talk about. I'd rather talk to you about an issue that's related to you then to someone else and bitch about you. Make sense?

And if I am talking to you about someone else, that's likely because i trust you enough to have a healthy conversation about it. This circle of trust for me is very small.

That doesn't mean women or men do not gossip - many do and its really bad - but i would not like to be labelled as one based on my gender.

That and really, have you seen how much more men gossip - jk! =)

Anyway, you referring to what gossip was defined based on, does not mean you are a mean person, Mike. And a far cry on the attacks women get. You are probably just an innocent idiot geek who thought you could build something to meet more women =) It took me a while to understand men are idiot sometimes (i don't mean this in a bad way).

Re : On the main issue of this thread - A lot of people are unable to get into a healthy debate and separate personal attacks. There is a severe lack of emotional intelligence and just good manners.

Some of the shitty things men say here are really nasty - I was called a whore for talking about homemade face products, one recently was triggered when i was talking abt tech.

i could have responded ego vs ego but quite frankly i don't have the time to sit down and convince some random stranger i don't give two hoots about nor let him affect how i should run my life so i ignored like i have many others. Doesn't mean it doesn't upset me, nor have I not reacted in the past. I just rather engage with what is relevant and important to me now.

If I am responding here, then its because you matter to me. It's as simple as that.

That also doesn't mean women are not shitty either. I've seen one here cry abuse on sexual harassment, and then verbally sexually harass Jack. I've seen one who puts other people down and get sympathy from the public. Women can be just as vulgar, rude and inappropriate.

It also doesn't mean men should not call out bad behaviors from men or women, its a free world. But there is a diff between personal attacks and calling out bad behaviours, and how you do it.

Mike Dilger ☑️ 1y ago 💬 2

Yes it was you 😊. "You are probably just an innocent idiot geek who thought you could build something to meet more women" is not the case. Oh sure, I'm innocent. And sure I'm a geek. But I am not trying to "meet more women". I quit trying to "meet more women" at age 35 when [REDACTED]. After that I have zero interest in meeting women. It wasn't just her, every relationship brought me more work and pain and suffering than it brought me good. They were always net-negatives for me. It took me far to long too recognize. I'm very happy now living alone, and looking back, seeking women and in particular being in a relationship with someone was always the most unhappy part of my life. Why would I fuck up my good life now? I wouldn't.

It is a personality thing. It seems that this is not true for most people. Most people do better with a partner. I'm one of the few people who doesn't.

And to quell rumors about what was redacted: no I don't have an STD, no I have never been violent towards anybody, no I have never had a drug or alcohol problem.

I wanted nostr to grow as much as possible and I didn't think a sausage party would be ameniable to growth.

pam 1y ago

I could have handled that gossip conversation better, and for that i am sorry. i felt bad reading your note realizing you positioned yourself among the attackers after that, its a far cry from it. And thanks for explaining your real purpose and intent, and while i disagree on labeling women as gossipers, having diverse groups and conversations are much better and maybe we can explore other ways. PS : sorry about your past, you learn something from every relationship and it makes you a better person. Hope you are happy regardless! you're cool Mike. take care!