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I am not telling you that you are a monster.

Not liking yourself as you are is something that you can work on, and more positively than pretending to be something that you are not. Through counselling or through #stoicism you can learn to come to terms with yourself. This is the healthy outcome. Creating a fantasy version of yourself and then claiming that you are that thing because you "self-identify" as it is not healthy, it is a delusion, just like people going around claiming to be Jesus.

Nobody "gave you an identity at birth" - your sex was determined by the chromosomes in your DNA when you were conceived, and observed at birth. Your sex, just like your age or your race, is inherently part of your identity and important to determine the kinds of medical conditions that may affect you among many other things.

I would encourage you to find confidence in your actual lived reality rather than trying to live a lie, that is the only way you will truly find happiness as you will always know deep down when you are deluding yourself. That doesn't mean you shouldn't wear dresses if you want to - wear whatever you want, but don't try to claim that it changes what you are.

ΛJΛXX / Sam 2y ago

I tried stoicism, it's a wonderful philosophy which helped me so much in my life.

But it didn't help me accept who I'm told I am. I never found myself in the ♂ gender. I tried and tried so hard to fit in it, so hard I hated myself to not being able to "just" be what everyone want me to be.

Stoicism helped me on that only by letting me think for years that "it is what it is" and that the only solution I had was to barely tolerate the individual I am, to just be this default human an just exist in my head.

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ΛJΛXX / Sam 2y ago

But when I learnt more about the transidentity, I found a way to reappropriate my physical self, to finally feel at home in my own body.

Feeling these colorful emotions after all these years filled with gray tints of "it is what it is, I'll never be happy with myself" is just a relieve, it give hope, it gives joy and let us hope for happiness.

Please don't take us that. We're just trying to be happy after hating ourselves our entire life.

Celata 2y ago

I don't want to take away your hope or your trans identity. All I am saying is that you cannot just decide to call yourself a woman, because being a woman is a lot more than how you feel about yourself and necessarily involves quite a bit of biology.

I am very much in favor of safe spaces, sports categories, etc for trans identified people if they feel they need it. But women also need their own safe spaces, sports categories, etc which are exclusive to us. Invading those spaces is not fair to us. Invading lesbian safe spaces and then kicking us out of them because we are only interested in relationships with biological women is not fair to us. Go make "transbian" communities if you want, we would not complain, we are not oppressing you. But stop appropriating us and kicking us out of our own house.

Celata 2y ago

If you cannot find the answers through reflection alone, then perhaps counselling is the solution. Others, especially trained psychiatrists, may be able to help you see solutions that are indistinct or invisible from your current point of view.